sad love

Sometimes letting go brings peace

You know those times when you’re so worried about losing something — or should I stop being sneaky and say what it is, someone — that you can’t focus on anything.

You spend your time around someone, but you don’t live in the present reality. Your eyes go dreamy and your surroundings go blurry when you’re around that person.

You start to think of all the happy places you’d rather be with her, and all the lovely talks that you’ll whisper into her ear. 

You picture her looking into your eyes and giving you the most wonderful smile you’ve ever seen. You feel in your imagination that she touches your hands and brings herself closer to you. You wrap your arms around her and help her close the gap between you two.

And then an alarm goes off, and you discover yourself in the middle of the reality. She isn’t even looking at you. She’s busy with her thing, perhaps she says hi once or twice, perhaps she even hangs out with you after classes, but deep in your heart, you know that you don’t have a special place in her heart, and chances are thin that you’ll ever do.

What do you do in those moments? How do you get on with those constant feeling of despair and disappointment?

sad love

Nothingness can be beautiful. 

One advice that often works for a lot of people is to simply let it go. I understand, it’s hard enough to forget someone who’s been in your life. But when you have a crush on someone, no matter how serious and deep it is, you still aren’t as close as you’d be if you two were together.

It hurts, yeah. It hurts to think that the person you imagine your life with doesn’t give a thought about you. But what can you do? It’s something you can’t really force it on her. Especially if you’ve given her all the hints you can and she’s politely shown no interest in you despite spending lots and lots of time with you.

I think this is the point where I reveal the big truth: I’m in that exact situation. And I think the best thing I can do is to simply let it go. Not in a way that I’ll stop talking to her and stop meeting her — although that’d be equally effective, but in a way that I can control my mind whenever I’m around her.

This is what I’m going to try. I’m going to think of her as nothing more than a friend. I’m going to try and not imagine of any happy moments with her. If things start to get blurry, I’ll rub my eyes as hard as I can to kick myself back to reality. If her smile makes me dizzy, I’ll look away and focus on anything — a wall, if necessary — to avoid falling for her.

“There’s still time,” I say to myself. “I can deal with this. If she doesn’t have any interest in me and I find myself hurt every now and then because of her, perhaps it’s time to let go of the imagination.”

And that’s the key here. I wasn’t implying on letting go of the person. I’m talking about letting go of the imagination, dreams, and hopes that surrounds her whenever she’s around me. Not sure how effective that will be, but a man gotta start somewhere, right?

What do you do when you have a crush on someone who’s a close friend with you? Especially when you know nothing’s going to happen and you can’t put an end to that friendship just because she won’t be in your life?

4 thoughts on “Sometimes letting go brings peace

  1. serenasinclair says:

    I don’t know your whole situation of course, but sometimes it’s easier to let go if you try first. Meaning you tell her how you feel and if she turns you down then fine you’re just friends. I used to feel the same way as you about someone and we reconnected years ago and he told me he’d always felt the same and still had those feelings even years later…but now we both had great relationships of our own. So I am left to wonder…what would have happened if we had admitted in the moment? I say just go for it before you decide to let go.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Imperfect Friend says:

      I know what you mean. I guess I’m just stressed out about losing what friendship we already have. You know, people tend to be distant when someone proposes and it doesn’t work out. My introverted nature certainly doesn’t help here. But I did give her some hints, and I got the feeling that she’s not into a relationship or anything.

      Liked by 1 person

      • serenasinclair says:

        Yea I totally get it. We had hints and we both said were such good friends why ruin it? And then regretted it. It’s a tricky thing, but I feel like if there’s still hope you can’t really let go. But that’s me of course, I struggle with letting go.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Imperfect Friend says:

        Heh, it’s weird how similar people can be, right? Because that’s the same kind of expression that I got when I hinted at this. And honestly speaking, I’m kidding myself. I’m not good at letting go either. In fact, I’m worst at it. (I waited for my first ex to come back for 5 years. 🙂 ) I think I’m just trying to make myself understand that I probably shouldn’t hurt myself anymore.

        Like

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